I believe I have found the explanation for a problem that has bedeviled Israel and the so-called United Nations.
The problem — the recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.
The solution. Real Estate!
It has nothing to do with all the bubbamayses about occupation, conquer, territory, whatever. Any serious thinker knows that those arguments are non-starters.
It has nothing to do with the protection of Islam’s holy sites. I mean, the best argument the rest of the world has is that Jerusalem is Islam’s third holiest site. i mean really? My third best friend doesn’t even talk to me. I’ve got two who are better.
I haven’t even heard of hundreds of people being crushed to death on pilgrimage to Jerusalem. So how cool can it be?
It is Israel’s holiest site. Doesn’t that count for something? Maybe not if you hate Jews. But at least note that the Israeli government has a perfect record of protecting the Dome of the Rock. Those who call it holy? A storehouse for Molotov Cocktails.
And I’m not going to get into war, conquest, and all of the other issues that world government’s throws up.
So I don’t have to.
The answer is simple.
It’s all about the real estate.
Let’s take a hypothetical. Let’s say your job requires that you live in, oh, I don’t know, maybe Malibu. It’s only a short drive to your office in Santa Monica and, anyway, you don’t have to do the driving. And so your employer insists on giving you an all-expense paid beachfront mansion in Malibu so you can be close to but not quite on top of the office. All expenses. Mansion. Beachfront. Barbra’s your neighbor.
And let’s assume you come from kind of a lame country. Let’s call it Sweden. Yeah, you’re rich, you’re European which makes you somehow superior to the rest of the world (except it doesn’t and you’re going bankrupt so you try to chase out the Jews whose fault it is) , blah blah blah. It’s ok with you that nobody actually cares about you. But you spend half your time in darkness and cold. And you have voting power at the UN. And now you get to a place where your shattered dark Strindbergian soul – the soul that hates Jews even though you don’t really have any — is in MALIBU! Sunshine. Light. Warmth. Turquoise seas.
Now let’s say you have to move your office to Palm Springs. That will add a few hours to your commute, assuming traffic is light (which it never is). Now don’t get me wrong. Palm Springs is lovely. And it might even be fun because maybe you’re cool enough (in an irrelevant second-rate European sort of way) to join the Norwegian Rat Pack.
But . . . Palm Springs is in the desert. Sure, there are people who like desert more. But who doesn’t love the beach? Especially a perfect, turquoise water white sand Mediterranean beach, where you have an actual mansion?
And awesome hummus.
And now your employer is telling you that maybe you should move closer to the office and give up that beautiful beachfront mansion and live in a kind of cool but smallish faux-Neutra three bedroom near the swinging lights of the desert.
How would you feel? Right. You don’t want to move. Now how would you feel if you come from some loser developing country that could never even imagine a place like this and hates Jews even more than you do even though they don’t have any either because they’ve killed them all or chased them out or are so lame that even desperate refugees wouldn’t live there?
Right. You’re not moving, no matter how unfair or irrational your position on the capital is.
Location, location, location. (By the way, I am very proud as a citizen of the populist republic of the United States to note that our ambassador’s mansion is waaaaay shabbier than others, at least as far as you can from the street behind the walls. And if you take a look at India’s, you might have some idea why they are so friendly with Israel. Just sayin’.)
So you demand that Tel Aviv be the recognized Israeli capital rather than Jerusalem. It’s a short commute. You can justify the mansion. You can stay in Malibu . . .um . . .Herzliya. Same thing.
The solution to the problem is easy. Any New Yorker could figure it out.
Let the ambassadors keep their real estate. The commute to Jerusalem isn’t that bad.